I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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