This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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