He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
