So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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