Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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