Do you still have your period?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
