these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
