I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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