Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
