Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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