Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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