"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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