i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
