At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
