your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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