Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
