dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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