This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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