Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she told me i tasted like america
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
