I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
