I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We had sex on a dog bed..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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