I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
