Dual....:-)
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
