Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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