How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
