I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sponge bath it is.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
