I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
