just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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