Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
