maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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