Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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