If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize