If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
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