dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
is it fun? or sober?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
