I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
