Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
