Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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