haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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