next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
