I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
