On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize