East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i dont even know how to be here
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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