FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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