I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
