I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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