Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
