I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize