I bet he comes in French.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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