The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
