Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
