he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
