yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
