i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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