Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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