So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
