....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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