things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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