Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
