So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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