I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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