Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
