Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
