so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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