Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
