Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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