Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
