I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she smelled like a LAN party
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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