Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
