You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
