I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
